Debra Holland Looks Back At Her Self-Publishing Journey in 2011

We’re proud to have with us today, Debra Holland, a Golden Heart winner, whose book was NOT picked up for NY publication. They said “sweet” historicals wouldn’t sell. Well, as you’ll read, they made an error. One that Debra is capitalizing on. Here is her inspiring story of the past year.

UPDATE! As of 1/28, Debra’s Wild Montana Sky just hit #1 on the Amazon top 100 Western Romance list. Her number three book, Stormy Montana Sky, which hasn’t even been out two weeks, is number 31 on the list.

What a difference a year makes! Last January 1, I’d hadn’t even considered self-publishing. In fact, I had a negative view of self-published books. I was deep the process of writing my nonfiction (traditionally published) book, The Essential Guide to Grief and Grieving. At this point in the process, I’d had my two sample chapters accepted by my editor and was looking at writing 18 more in the next two and a half months.

I had secret doubts that I’d be able to write a GOOD book by the deadline. I used every motivational trick I knew to keep myself positive and on track. It was the one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. But the book is out now, I’m getting stellar reviews and making an impact on people’s lives, so it was all worth it!

Around February, Delle Jacobs posted her monthly self-published sales numbers to our group of friends, The Wet Noodle Posse. I was blown away. I made a mental note to self-publish my novels (that two agents hadn’t been able to sell) and wished I wasn’t buried in the grief book so I could do it now.

Once the grief book was turned in, I knew I had two weeks before my editor would get the revisions back to me. So I did a read through of each of my two fiction manuscripts, paid Delle to do my covers, made a 10 minute attempt to format the first book, Wild Montana Sky, before giving up and paying someone to do it for me.

Wild Montana Sky went live on the evening of April 28, and the next day, Starry Montana Sky followed. Of course I had hopes for some sales, but I never dreamed that they’d catch on and I’d sell so well: 27,069 (Wild Montana Sky) and 10,207 (Starry Montana Sky) for the year.

These numbers are a combination of Amazon and Barnes & Noble. There are probably another 100 or so sales through Smashwords, which reports quarterly. (Monthly numbers below.)

I’ve been flabbergasted, excited, and humbled at the success of these two sweet historical Westerns.

After the grief revisions were done, I began working on Stormy Montana Sky (which I’d begun in 2004 and stopped writing after 50 pages.)

I became a self-publishing cheerleader, speaking to my chaptermates and writing blogs because I wanted other writers to know they had options besides traditional publishing. I also began preparing the first two books in my fantasy romance trilogy for publication.

Sower of Dreams went live on July 31 (799 sales) and Reaper of Dreams followed on August 7 (243 sales.) As you can see, they didn’t take off like the Westerns did, but they are selling steadily at about 100 and 50 a month. The covers are by Lex Valentine. They’ve paid for themselves by this point.

Although I’d finished Stormy Montana Sky by late November, it had to go to my editor. After my revisions, I sent it to several copyeditors, and didn’t get it back in time to self-publish the book in 2011. (Although it’s self-published now.)

In the meantime, I decided to self-publish my Romantic Space Opera, Lywin’s Quest, (a 2005 Golden Heart Finalist.) I hesitated to self-publish it because it’s EPIC at 140,000 words and the next two books in the trilogy are going to be a lot of work. It also didn’t have the copyedits finished in time to self-publish in 2011, although it’s now available.

Self-publishing has reawakened my creativity. When my books didn’t sell, I became discouraged. I stopped writing fiction and switched to nonfiction. What I didn’t know I was doing was stifling my creativity. I’d get a story idea and squash it thinking, “It’s too much work to write a book that doesn’t sell.”

Now ideas are flowing. The Montana Sky series has expanded (in my head and in notes) to two more full-length books, 3 novellas, and a collection of Christmas stories.

Having an income from writing, instead of spending money through taking classes, going to conferences, buying books, belonging to writers’ organizations, paying for editing, etc, is wonderful! Although I must say, checking my sales numbers has become an addiction.

Here’s my sales breakdown by month:

APRIL
WMS 11 (.99)
SMS 5 ($2.99)

MAY
WMS 479
SMS 106

JUNE
WMS 2454
SMS 638

JULY
WMS 5085
SMS 1842
SOWER OF DREAMS (SOD) 3 (July 31)

AUGUST
WMS 5106
SMS 2180
SOD 97 (.99)
REAPER OF DREAMS (ROD) 45 (Aug 7) ($2.99)

SEPTEMBER
WMS 4348
SMS 1733
SOD 104
ROD 44

OCTOBER
WMS 3975
SMS 1445
SOD 104
ROD 47

NOVEMBER
WMS 2386
SMS 1047
SOD 119
ROD 57

DECEMBER
WMS 3232
SMS 1227
SOD 129
ROD 50

TOTAL SALES

WMS 27,069
SMS 10,207
SERIES 37,272

SOD 556
ROD 243
SERIES 799

During this time, I’ve done very little promotion. I’ve written some blogs and done some guest blogs. I’ve requested reviews from about 10 review sites and the books have been favorably reviewed by all those who said yes. I had a brief pop of sales in October from Pixel of Ink picking up the book. If you look back through my blogs over the last six months, you can read about other things I think work. http://drdebraholland.blogspot.com

Barnes & Noble sells very few of my books in comparison to Amazon. I’m frustrated with that company because there’s so much more they could do to improve sales for all their authors. (But that’s another blog post.) However, in adding up the numbers for this blog, I was able to see how the consistent (although small) sales can add up over time.

I’m more grateful than I can express to all the readers who bought my book and to the authors who led the way on the path of self-publishing and to those who continue to support and educate me.

I hope you are all taking the time to reflect on what you can do to make 2012 the best year ever! Best of luck with keeping all your New Year’s resolutions. Here’s to a wonderful, healthy, and prosperous 2012!

Dr. Holland has a master’s degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Therapy, and holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology from the University of Southern California, and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has twenty-five years of experience counseling individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Holland is a popular psychotherapist, consultant, and speaker on the topics of communication difficulties, relationships, grief recovery, stress, and dealing with difficult people. She is a featured expert for the media, and does entertainment consulting.

What to Look for in 2012–No Ouija Board Required

by Fae Rowen

Let me offer this disclaimer first:  Even though I’ve spent a lot of hours researching this particular blog, it is purely for entertainment purposes.  Take what resonates with you, what you find fun (or funny), what you can use to construct your personal, unique understanding of this information.  I want to thank Jeanine Just for her insight and helpful research.

One of the things I committed to this year at WITS is to share a bit of my “out there” beliefs and knowledge.  I can identify with you if you cry, “Hogwash!” because I’ve been there, too.  Change is inevitable.  Remember entrophy in chemistry and physics?

Yeah, I agree.  Maybe it’s better to forget those classes.

I know this is an important year for me, so I’ve been talking to my “woo-woo” friends, reading articles, and attending lectures about what this new year, 2012, the Year of the Water Dragon, the last Mayan calendar year, will bring us.  I believe if we are aware of potential opportunities we can take advantage of them.  Now is the time to get inspired and get going.  I’m excited about the possibilities for 2012.

Breathe a sigh of relief, because 2012 promises to be calmer than 2011. You may find yourself focusing more on the well-being of others as well as your own.  You may even volunteer or become involved to help, as one source says, “correct a social problem.”  There is great potential for new-found freedoms.

Here’s a list of advice to take advantage of possibilities for a fuller life in next twelve months.

1. Tie up loose ends, complete unfinished projects
2. Acquire new success skills to build  foundations for what’s next in your life
3. Go forward fearlessly with your heart’s desires to confidently make life changes
4. Let go of past losses, bad decisions and shattered dreams–without drama
5. Focus on things you prefer to experience
6. Respond rather than react
7. Prepare for an intense, fast-paced year with major breakthroughs
8. Turn crisis into blessings
9. Do not get caught up in the manufactured fear of the unknown, change, security, or loss of control
10. Be discerning
11. Reorder your priorities
12. Move forward, it’s the only direction we can go this year
13. Do expect the unexpected
14. Logic and linear thinking won’t always work
15. It will be possible to get greater control of your destiny
16. This is not a year for outer revolution
17. Listen to your intuition
18. There will be many new innovative ideas in all areas
19. Step out of your comfort zone
20. Throw away the rule books
21. Develop calmness; be the eye of the storm; find your inner peaceful place
22. Make conscious choices
23. Make a commitment
24. Show courage
25. Show resolve
26. Break free of old patterns and habits that make you depressed or unhappy
27. Revisit your “old” life to help close the doors on the past that you no longer need
28. “Be truth”
29. Indecision is worse than the wrong decision
30. Beware of irrational behavior, destructiveness, indecision and worry in yourself and others
31. Be a visionary
32. Be an inspiration
33. Stop playing the victim role
34. Avoid burning your bridges
35. Manifest what you really want by only envisioning what you want
36. Look for the opportunities in everything, everywhere
37. Use your heart-based energy
38. Choose to free yourself
39. Businesses that are passionate about their products and services will flourish
40. Interdependence, not dependence or co-dependence are
41. Surround yourself with positive supportive people
42. Connect with like-minded people
43. You will rarely be in the situation for the reasons you think; very everything from a broader perspective
44. Upgrade your energy–physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
45. Don’t personalize “stuff”
46. Quiet your brain
47. Give yourself a time-out to walk in nature
48. Nothing can stand in the way this year
49. Let go of preconceived ideas about people, places, ideas, and situations
50. Staying stuck will become more painful than making changes
51. Logic and linear thinking won’t work like they used to
52. Bravely take trips into the unknown
53. Paradox will abound
54. Use your imagination to envision your best future
55. Empower and heal

Actually, the advice seems helpful for any year.  But this year, in particular, the list may prove quite powerful.  My suggestion is to highlight a handful of items that relate to you and your situation right now.  In a different color, highlight another set that you’re drawn to, even if you don’t know (now) why they call you.  Review your highlighted possibilities/reminders once a month to refresh your memory of your potential for this year.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this time next year we have taken advantage of the opportunities available to us this year to reach our potential to enjoy our lives fully?

Which ideas resonated with you?  Do you have additional “movie trailer” suggestions for 2012?

Chinese New Year Celebrations, The Symbolism and Mythology

Gung Hey Fat Choy!  Happy New Year.

First of all I want to say a special thanks Andrew (Andy) Chang, who teaches Chinese Culture. He helped make this blog possible.

While I am not Chinese myself, my marriage to a Singaporean of mainland China decent has given me a unique insider’s view of how Chinese New Year is celebrated by Chinese families. Keep in mind that there are many Asian cultures, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese etc that celebrate the new lunar year. Each shares similarities but the celebrations vary. Individual family traditions come into play too just as they do with American holidays.

Note: As you read, please keep in mind that the phonetically spelled words vary in spelling as the Chinese use characters rather than letters and pronunciation also varies from one province to the next. Consider that Mandarin is a different dialect than Cantonese even though both share the same written language.

Chinese New Year, also known as the Spring Festival marks the end of winter. Spring and the New Year celebration starts on the first day of the first month on the traditional Chinese lunar Calendar. It ends on the 15^th day with the Lantern festival. [Not to be confused with the Mid-Autumn Festival which is sometimes referred to as the Lantern Festival]

Chinese New Year usually occurs between January 21 and February 20^th. On rare occasions the date may fall at the first of month. For more info on the lunar calendar, see the links below.

2012 Is The Year Of The Dragon

Since the dragon is held in the highest esteem above all other signs it behooves this humble rabbit to first bow down and give the fifth sign of the Chinese zodiac just phrase.

Dragons are bringers of wealth and good fortune so they are actually the epitome of what Chinese New Year is all about, a celebration of luck and good fortune for the coming year.

The dragon symbol is the sign of authority and is worn on robes of the Imperial family and nobility. He is king of all scaly creatures: fish, reptiles, amphibian etc.

In Chinese mythology these revered creatures are seldom depicted as malevolent as they are in western cultures. They may be fearsome and powerful and held in awe, but are also considered just and benevolent. Chinese mythology may have some tales of evil dragons but these were “never” Chinese dragons but monsters from a foreign land.

Another interesting fact that I bet you didn’t know is that most dragons are considerd aquatic. The bigger the body of water they live in, lake, river, sea etc. the more powerful. There are some that inhabit the heavens as well, especially in the quarter of the sky called the Palace of the Green Dragon. The appearance of the dragon constellation heralds the rainy season.

The dragon is reputed to be deaf, owing to the fact that the Chinese word for deaf rhymes with the word for dragon.

Understanding Chinese Symbolism:

So that you will understand the reasoning behind the Chinese symbolism and why they celebrate the way they do, I need to explain a little about how it works.

In the Chinese culture, like the American Indian culture there is a story/myth explaining the existence of absolutely everything.

When I married my husband he said a woman should always eat tofu because it makes her skin smooth. Okay, tofu is smooth but . . . I thought he was pulling my leg until his mother visited and said the same thing. But you see where I’m going with this. Comparisons factor into the symbolism.

Chinese words that rhyme are often given symbolic meanings between the two. Example: The Chinese word for Mandarin orange rhymes with the word meaning gold. Thus the orange represents wealth. It’s golden color (comparison) factors in too. The orange is very important to serve and eat during Chinese New Year.

Also anything round in shape is a symbol of completeness – that is it has a beginning and an end. Again the orange is round so it serves not only as a symbol of gold but also completeness. You’ll find more examples of these as you read.

How Did the Zodiac Animals Originate?

The mythology goes something like this:

      In ancient times the god of gods decided the people needed a better method to keep track of the years. The gods devised a system based on a 12 year cycle and to make those years easy to recall they decided to give them animal names. 

      But which animal should have year one, year two etc.? The gods decided to hold a race across the river and the animal that came in first would be the name of the 1^st year in the cycle. The second animal to come in would be the second year and so forth. The animals complained that dragon would win because he can fly so the gods gave him the task of bringing rain to a far-away village before he could return and join the race.

      Ox was a strong sturdy fellow, able to battle the river currents. Rat grabbed his tail and as Ox neared the shoreline, Rat hopped up on Ox’s back and then jumped ashore before Ox set foot on it. So Rat was given the first year, Ox the second year. Next came, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog and last of all, Pig.

Family New Year Celebrations

Even in these modern times Chinese people journey many miles to their home village to celebrate the New Year with family. In a manner of speaking it is a family reunion much like our Thanksgiving. And as usual, there is a symbolic myth to explain the reason for this.

The story of the Nian, a hideous monster is one of many mythological stories that has brought forth Chinese New Year customs. While there are several versions of the Nian story on the net, I’m telling the one told to me by Andrew Chang. He’s very knowledgeable and a wonderful story teller in the bargain. Enjoy!

     The hideous Nian creature always left his ocean home on the eve of the New Year to terrorize seashore villages. He ate people and livestock alike and destroyed everything in his path. One year when New Year’s Eve was nearly upon one of these villages, the people decided to abandon the village and not return until after New Years Eve when the monster would be gone. One old woman refused to leave. The Nian had killed her husband and her son already and sadly, she felt she had little to live for. 

      So when everyone left the village she remained. Night settled in and she heard a rhythmic knocking. It started at the first house and ventured toward hers. She grew very frightened. Eventually the knocking came at her door. “Who’s there?” she called out. 

      An old man’s voice answered. “I’m tired and hungry, please let me in.” The old woman peeped out and saw an old man with a cane. She guessed he had been knocking on all the village doors with it. Inviting him in, she kindly fed and warmed him. He asked her where all the people had gone. She explained about the Nian and he asked, “Why didn’t you go with them?” She told him about her lost family.

      The old man said he knew of way to outwit the Nian and gave her instructions. She gathered up bamboo and piled it in her garden. [In those days the house formed a square around a garden] Then she gathered up everything red in the house and decorated the doors and windows with it. Next the old man told her to gather up all her pots and pans. Then together they waited for the Nian.

      The Nian destroyed every home looking for food. It growled in fury when it found no people. It came to the old woman’s door and squealed in fright. Next it tried the windows and then the backdoor, squealing and running away at each. Clearly the Nian did not like the red color.

      The old man told the old woman to burn the bamboo. Then as dry, burning bamboo will do, it exploded with a loud bang. The old woman followed that by banging loudly on her pots and pans. The Nian shrieked in terror and returned to the ocean. 

      When the people returned to the village they asked how the old woman had survived. The people decided the old man had been a good fairy and that he’d rewarded the woman for her hospitality by scaring away the Nian.

     From that time on all Chinese New year celebrations have included lots of the color red and firecrackers. And by the way, the Chinese word for firecrackers means burning bamboo.

I promised a reason for the Chinese people’s mass immigration to home villages. In short, the gathering was to make sure all family members are well and accounted for [To make sure the Nian or other evils had not befallen them.] Gung hey, a typical part of a New Year’s greeting means literally, “congratulations for surviving the Nian.”

Celebrations in Chinese homes start with a good house cleaning to sweep away any bad luck that may have accumulated over the past year. However, there is no cleaning the first few days of the New Year for fear of disposing of good luck.

Homes are decorated with the lucky color red, esp. the doorway, and red lanterns are hung inside and out.

Mirrors are sometimes placed over the door or on each side of the doorway so that when evil spirits try to enter, they scare themselves and run away. The mirrors were placed in the middle of an eight-sided piece of peach wood that had been painted red. Peaches are a fruit of the gods so it was a good wood to repel evil. [This is not strictly a New Year’s custom]

Chinese families gather on New Year’s Eve to share festive foods that will bring them good luck for the coming year. They do this at a round table. (completeness of family members)

Some Festive Foods Might Include The Following:

• Chicken and fish: Represents prosperity and are served whole (the chicken with head and feet, the fish with head and fins) to represent completeness, that is, having a beginning and an end. [A poor farmer kept chickens for eggs to sell and only ate one on a “festive” occasion.] Fish sounds like the word meaning “something still coming or excess. It also means “there will be more after this” It is always the last dish to be served.
• Oysters: the Chinese term for oysters rhymes with grand which suggests, wealth and plenty.
• Tangerines: Passed out as symbols wealth and good luck. [See symbolism above] Today, you’ll find pretty miniature orange trees in Chinese markets during the New Year.
• Small steamed rice cakes that look like gold nuggets: Theses sweet treats are steamed then fried to a golden color. Again the gold color symbolize wealth.
• Sesame balls: These are made from glutinous rice and filled with a sweet red bean paste or lotus seed paste. (My absolute favorite by the way) They are round (completeness) and golden (wealth) and the sesame seeds, actually in the Chinese culture, seeds of any kind represents children/bearing children, esp. sons.
• Trays of Candy: Round-shaped trays with compartments holding candied lotus seeds, dried fruits, plums, apricots, perhaps dragon eye fruit, dried coconut strips, dried ginger etc are set out to provide a sweet & happy beginning to the new year. The Chinese name for lotus seed rhymes with the Chinese word that means “continue to have sons.”
  I provided such a tray for my New Years guests at a party. I remember one guest in particular, a college friend of my son’s who was from China. The young man was thrilled to share the New Year with us, and he nearly cried at the sight of the special tray of sweets. I was so touched that I sent a replenished tray home with him.
• Watermelon Seeds: Spiced or salted, many different kinds of seeds are served due the symbolism, of good luck for having more children.
• Dumplings: Often their shape is in the same as ancient Chinese money. Wealth again.

On New Year’s eve after the feast, families stayed up late to greet the new year just as many of us do today. Even little children were allowed to stay up until midnight. Often, they ate dumpling soup or some type of meat ball soup.

On New Year’s Day children wish their parents good luck and long life. The parents then present them with red packets. (Lai Sees)  

Long ago, visiting family members and friends brought gifts when they visited. This might be a chicken or something they had grown. But traveling many miles to celebrate made this difficult and in time the practice evolved. Instead, red packets were given to children. The money in these packets was called lucky money and it a congratulations to the children for surviving yet another year-literally holding down the year – and it was a wish to live and prosper. Remember that life expectancy was short.

Red packets are also given for birthdays and weddings but most especially for Chinese New Year. These days, children might also give red packets to their parents. My husband has always given his mother a red packet.

Only, an “even” amount of money is given, never odd. You might receive $6 dollars but never $5 or $20 but never $17. My husband explained that an odd amount is bad luck. At first I found the exchange of red packets strange because it was like trading money – there was no profit. My husband said the red packets aren’t just about the money. They are a way to wish good luck and wealth to your friends and family. At my New Year party I handed out red packets containing two brand new silver dollars.

Other Traditions:

New Clothing: In much the same way that Chinese sweep away the bad luck before New Years, they replace old clothing with at least one new outfit. Lots of red clothing is worn as it is a good luck color.

Dragon and Lion dances in the streets: Most Americans are familiar with the long dragons, operated by many people maneuvering poles underneath the body. The lion dance is popular too, but it takes only two people to operate the movement.

The lion dance requires great skill and is often performed my martial art schools.
Today, many Chinese restaurants host a mini dance of the dragon and/or lion accompanied by the loud banging of drums. Offerings of red packets/coins are accepted by the dancers. [Turning down a red packet is very bad luck for the receiver] During a lion dance, when he eats an orange and spits it out, he spreading the wealth. In China and Hong Kong the parade creatures undulate through the streets and around buildings during the festival.

The different provinces of China all have their own mythology on the origins of the dragon and lion dances. You might enjoy investigating them by using the links below.

Chinese New Year Don’ts:

Don’t drop your chop sticks
Don’t greet people in the morning.
Don’t lend or borrow money
Don’t sweep the floor

I’ve enjoyed sharing these fascinating Chinese New Year traditions with you. If you plan on hosting a Chinese New Year party, red lanterns, red packets, mirrors, strings of red-paper firecrackers and etc are usually available at local Asian food markets. If you can’t find what you need, ask the management, and I’m sure they can point you in the right direction. Be sure to offer tangerines to your guests!

Links

History of Chinese New Year – Qing dao
U-tube Celebration
U-tube Celebration in Singapore
Chinese Zodiac signs
Western-Chinese Calendar Converter
Chinese Calendar
Structure of the Chinese Calendar – this incorporates the zodiac
Chinese Lion Dance – a good site that explains types of lion dances and originations. The photos are beautiful.
Dragon Dance – the history and one of the most comprehensive explanations I found

Writing Naked Will Take You To The Top!

A guest blog by Tiffany Lawson Inman

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to Laura Drake for inviting me to join WITS today.  And a BIG congrats on her 3 book deal!  Even though she’s a big star now, I hope she signs up for another one of my classes ;)  Hint hint.

There it is.  LARGE bold print peering out at me from underneath the Life and Home section….THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLERS LIST, nagging me to grab my Kindle and start downloading fabulous fiction at lightning speed through the whispernet. Sounds magical doesn’t it? No, not whispernet, although it kinda does… 

Right now I’m talking about that list.  You know the one. The list that, if you are on it, says without saying: You are a really-really-GOOD-writer-and-being-on-this-list-makes-you-special!

            What makes that  writing so darn special? 

My mom, Margie Lawson, creator of deep editing, and I have discussed on end why bestselling authors are bestselling authors. Using my background in theatre and hers in psychology, we probed the question:

No… bestselling authors are NOT walking around with fairy dust in their pockets.

Nope… they don’t have magic beans either.

The answer: It’s the words they use, the order they use them in, and how they tell their story.

 Sounds easy, right?

Of course there are stylistic differences surrounding how each author of each genre approaches action, movement, and tension.  Some are minimalists when it comes to dialogue cues and body language and visceral. Others push our senses to the max. And a select few authors out there have the gift to use every aspect of scene writing to show evolving character relationships.  All are golden tools of scene writing!

While teaching Triple Threat Behind Staging a Scene last year, I asked the class members to pick out an action/movement, heavy dialogue, or multi-character scene from their favorite author. And to include an explanation on why they thought the scene kept them hooked and kept them reading. Here are a few of the words and phrases my class used to describe their favorite bestselling scenes:

• moves the story forward
• natural dialogue, showed relationship and kept pace
• understated dialogue  punctuated by bits of physical movements
• visible tension in the body language
• get to know the characters without losing interest  or forward momentum.
• fluid internalization
• seamlessly weaving all the elements of story together
• multiple switches in tone
• easy to read, no description or info dumps  
• tight choreography

Similarities: Tension, tight dialogue, show not tell, fluid internalizations, emotive body language, and smooth choreography. 

Can you describe your writing with the words and phrases above?  (After taking my class you will be able to say, “Yes-yes–yes-yes-yes!”)

Learning to train our reading brains to see emotional and dramatic patterns can awaken the bestselling writer within all of us. 

The question is, HOW?

This is one of the many tools I use to awaken the bestselling authors within my students, so read carefully, this is privileged information 

What if bestselling authors forgot about tension, tight dialogue, show-not-tell, fluid internalizations, emotive body language, and smooth choreography in their scenes? 

What if I stripped their writing down to its birthday suit? Yup. Naked Writing.

            What if, indeed…

Grab hold of your seats folks, I have stripped and re-written this scene and it’s not going to move you one inch.

This scene is a HUGE turning point in a well known YA fantasy. The protagonist thinks he is confronting a known serial killer, a man that betrayed his parents and that betrayal led to their death.  He and his two best friends are secluded in a room with this known villain and the protagonist is the only one with a weapon. This is his opportunity to avenge his parents and commit murder.

Black was on the ground at that point and he was out of breath. He watched Harry as Harry walked toward him slowly.  Harry’s wand was pointed at Black.

“Are you going to kill me, Harry?” he said.

Harry stopped walking, his wand was still pointing forward. Black’s face showed an ugly bruise and he had a bloody nose.

“You killed my parents, “ Harry said.

Black paused.”I don’t deny it,” he said. “But if you knew the whole story.”

“You sold them to Voldemort. That’s all I need to know.” Harry said.

“You’ve got to listen to me,” Black said quickly, “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“I understand a lot better than you think,” said Harry.

Hermione’s fat cat jumped onto the front of Black’s coat. “Get off,” he said, trying to push Crookshanks off of him.

Crookshanks was an ugly cat with a squashed face and yellow eyes. The ugly cat continued to sit on his chest. Hermione started crying.

Harry guessed he would have to kill the cat too.  Harry still held the wand out in front of him towards Black, but he was having a hard time with this decision. Ron’s breathing was loud. He was sitting by the bed next to Hermione.

Harry heard a noise from down the stairs.

Hermione loudly yelled for help.

Black tried to get the cat off of his chest again. He was unsuccessful.

Harry shook his wand. A voice in his head told him to kill Black soon. He could hear          footsteps on the stairs. This decision was hard and he didn’t know what to do.

 Someone opened the door. It was Professor Lupin and he had his wand out.  When he came through the door, he scanned the room.   Harry still had his wand pointing at Black who was on the floor in front of him. 

 Lupin then yelled, “Expelliarmus!”————————————————

OH, my goodness….did anyone stop reading after line 4? And you guessed it – that was an altered scene from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. That’s right.  This children’s book has adult size muscles packed into its action scenes. 

I have to admit, it was kind of fun to strip the magic away…so-to-speak…

I WISH I could show you the whole scene, fully clothed. Alas, it is too large of a sample for me to retype without copyright infringements. If you have your own copy (and I know you do) crack it open and read this scene.  Not only is this a turning point for the book, but it is a turning point for the entire series.  Must read!

 Here are the highlights:

• Emotive Physicality:

Black was sprawled at the bottom of the wall. His thin chest rose and fell rapidly as he watched.         

• Active Description:

A livid bruise was rising around Black’s left eye and his nose was bleeding.

• Underlying Emotion:

“You killed my parents,” said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady.

• Quickening Pace:

“You’ve got to listen to me,” Black said, and there was a note of urgency in his voice now. “You’ll regret it if you don’t… You don’t understand…”

• Natural Dialogue and Emotive Dialogue Cues:

 ”I understand a lot better than you think,” said Harry, and his voice shook more than ever. “You never heard her, did you? My mum… trying to stop Voldemort killing me… and you did that… you did it…”

• Smooth Choreography and Active Description:

But Crookshanks sank his claws into Black’s robes and wouldn’t shift. He turned his ugly, squashed face to Harry and looked up at him with those great yellow eyes. To his right, Hermione gave a dry sob.

• Gripping Cadence and Visible Tension:

Harry raised the wand. Now was the moment to do it. Now was the moment to avenge his mother and father. He was going to kill Black. He had to kill Black. This was his chance…

The seconds lengthened. And still Harry stood frozen there, wand poised, Black staring up at him, Crookshanks on his chest. Ron’s ragged breathing came from near the bed; Hermione was quite silent.

And then came a new sound  

• Fluid Internalizations and Seamless Transitions:

Black made a startled movement that almost dislodged Crookshanks; Harry gripped his wand convulsively — Do it now! said a voice in his head — but the footsteps were thundering up the stairs and Harry still hadn’t done it.

• Active Descriptions and Smooth Choreography and Emotive Physicality:

The door of the room burst open in a shower of red sparks and Harry wheeled around as Professor Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face bloodless, his wand raised and ready. His eyes flicked over Ron, lying on the floor, Hermione, cowering next to the door, to Harry, standing there with his wand covering Black, and then to Black himself, crumpled and bleeding at Harry’s feet.

“Expelliarmus!” Lupin shouted.

By stripping away the Rowlings bestseller qualities we are able to see what is missing. And by putting them back, we can see the quality and quantity of what she used.  Yes, there can be too much of a good thing and readers will put your book down if they can’t see what’s happening.

Look at your own writing with Naked Editor Vision and ask yourself these questions:

• Does your writing already look like it’s been stripped?
• Is your writing wearing too many layers of clothing? Is it hard to see what is really happening under there?
• Have you overdosed the scene with one or two elements and scrimped on the rest?
• If you stripped it down, can you still see what is happening? What do you see?  Does your scene still have all of its body parts?

Sound like fun? 

Comment below and tell us about your favorite scene writing author. How do they do it?  Have you ever studied their writing? Dare to strip one of their scenes to see what is underneath? 

LEARN MORE FROM NAKED EDITOR! Join me for my February class at Lawson Writer’s Academy:  The Triple Threat Behind Staging a Scene:  An Actor’s Take on Writing Physicality, Choreography, and Action 

Leave a comment and your name will be added to a drawing to WIN a spot in The Triple Threat Behind Staging a Scene:  An Actor’s Take on Writing Physicality, Choreography, and Action 

February’s Online Classes offered by Lawson Writer’s Academy:

1. Taking a Book from Good to Sold, by Shirley Jump
2. The Triple Threat Behind Staging a Scene: An Actor’s Take on Writing Physicality, Choreography, and Action, by Tiffany Lawson Inman
3. Kills, Chills, and Thrills: Writing the Thriller Novel, by C.J. Lyons
4. Taming WordPress: Create and Maintain Blogs and Websites, by Tamela Buhrke
5. Platforms Aren’t Shoes. Start Marketing BEFORE You Finish That Book, by Tamela Buhrke
6. Empowering Characters’ Emotions, by Margie Lawson

Tiffany Lawson Inman is a freelance fiction editor and writing instructor.  Find out where she’s been guest blogging, where she’s going to be next, writing/editing tips, and her EDITING SERVICES at Naked Editor Blog: http://bit.ly/NakedEditorFictionWritingBlog   http://tiffanylawson.blogspot.com/

Myers-Briggs: A Tool for Authors and Other Humans

by Fae Rowen

 Allow me open a window to your personality, as well as  your character’s. If you already know all about the Myers-Briggs Personality Test and the sixteen personality types, you can skip down to the stars, below.

I’m no psychologist and I want to remind you that while I find this interesting, I’m a mathematician first and I reserve the right to be skeptical of everything without proof.  Oh, that does come out in my type.  You’ll see later.

If you’re like me, you’re going to want to know about you before you worry about those characters in your head, so here’s a link to a free questionaire and report.   Answer the questions quickly and honestly.  Go with your first gut reaction–not what you wish you were like.  Do not go back to “check” your work.  It’s not a math test. There is no wrong answer to any question. 

Your report will include four letters in a specific order:

• I(ntroversion) or E(xtroversion)
• N(iNtuition) or S(ensing)
• T(hinking) or F(eeling)
• P(erceiving) or J(udging).  

Don’t panic–it’s not as bad as you might think just from these words!

Let’s look at those first two letters  E or I, which refer to how you draw your energy from the world around you.  If you’re an E, you draw energy from people, things, and activities.  You tend toward breadth rather than depth.  You have a need for people.  If you’re an I, you draw your energy from the internal world of thoughts and ideas.  You prefer depth to breadth and pause to think about things.  You have a need for privacy.

Now for how you take in information, your second letter: N or S

If you’re in the N crowd, you prefer to take in information through a sixth sense, a gut feeling, your iNtuition.  You think about what might be.  You like the big picture.  You need possibilities. If you are with the S crowd, you prefer to take in information through your five Senses.  You like concrete and practical ideas.  You have a need for evidence.

The third letters, T or F, (no, not true or false)  refer to how you make decisions.

The thinking T emphasizes logic and reason, truth and fairness in decision-making, looking for objective balance.  T’s are unconsciously pre-occupied with truth.  The feeling F makes decisions based on personal values and people-needs. F’s are unconsciously preoccupied with harmony with others.

The final letter J or P shows preferences for lifestyle.

J’s prefer to live in a planned, organized style.  They like to come to conclusions quickly.  Their bottom line is control.  P’s enjoy spontaneity.  They’re flexible and adapt rather than needing to control.  They prefer to keep their options open.

If you’re like me, you’re happy with your letters and wouldn’t want to be “the other one” of any pair.  However, each type has potential strengths and potential blind spots.  As with any personality type (and horoscopes!), take what can help you grow and reach your goals.

Since we’re writers, let’s look a little more closely at the fourth letter.  Here’s a comparison of helpful traits and non-so-helpful traits for each.  Remember, there’s always room for development.

Judging (J)-Potentially helpful: 

• able to plan and schedule
• being deadline conscious
• able to think on your feet
• making decisions quickly
• sticking with a task even when it gets boring
• valuing orderliness

Judging-potentially hindering:

• ruled by deadlines and becoming inflexible
• jumping to conclusions before you have enough information
• being over-interested in control

Perceiving (P)-potentially helpful:

• keeping options open
• able to influence people without too many pre-conceived ideas
• willing to start over again if the first ideas don’t work
• tolerances for others (bosses, included)
• willing to adapt to others

Perceiving-potentially hindering:

• gets bored quickly
• can appear sloppy and unprepared
• finds it difficult to make decisions
• more interested in beginning a project than seeing it through

Here’s a chart for a quick summary:

********

Welcome, back, you psychology test-savvy readers.  Here at WITS we agreed to share our types with you.  Since I have the psychology degree, I got to write this and go first. In college I had a raincoat that was clear plastic with white, quarter-sized dots.  It barely covered my mini skirt and you could see right through it.  I feel like I’ve got that raincoat on now. 

What the heck!  I’m a proud INTJ; I’ll admit it.

Instead of telling you more about how I think (boring) or how emotions surprise me, I thought I’d share with you my “to do” list of how an INTJ can become more effective.  Those of you who know me will be able to nod your head at these suggestions.  I have to admit that as I was reviewing them, I thought, “Uh-huh, that’s why I had trouble last year.”  I could take these as my New Year’s resolutions. 

How INTJ’s can become more effective:

• Praise more, criticize less
• Postpone making a decision (sometimes) and just go with the flow
• Accept how much detailed work has to be done by others before the ideal can become a reality
• Be alert to the danger of constantly escalating standards
• Accept that things are all right as they are (sometimes)
• Genuinely involve and consult others when your decisions will affect others
• Tell the people close to you about your feelings
• Learn to control your impatience, or let another manage it
• Get work into perspective
• Arrange genuine leisure activity which is just fun
• Get enough exercise
• Smile more, frown less
• Ask for help before something becomes a crisis

Okay, one on the list I’ve mastered.  Really.  Not telling you which one because I don’t want arguments.  That leaves one thing to work on each month.  That’s doable.  I’m smiling now.

What if you were to have your characters take the Myers-Briggs test?  You could look at ways they could become more effective, to know how they operate, and what pushes their buttons. You can see the potential for conflicts when a Thinking T has to make a joint decision with a Feeling F.  There are sixteen different personality types.  That’s a huge potential for conflict.

Next week, our own Laura Drake reveals her letters.

So, what’s your type?  Or your protagonist’s type?  Did you find something that makes you say, “Aha?”  If you have a question, throw it out here.  We know it’s about one of your characters, not you!

Envisioning the Writer’s Ideal Life With Vision Boards and Mandalas

by Louella Nelson 

There’s no time like January to dream the so-called “impossible dream” and get organized for the year. 

We use all kinds of tricks to maneuver ourselves into a better us, a more orderly us, a more fulfilled us.  We lie to ourselves and say we’ll get this or that done and don’t do it. 

• We’re going to diet and lose 30 pounds. 
• We’ll get dive-certified; take that trip to Thailand; then we’ll get over to Tuscany and see the clear light all those painters raved about in the Renaissance. 
• For sure we’ll write two books, find an agent, get The New York Times to write reviews for us, blog till our fingers are numb, and launch that writing career.  (Or, in my case, re-launch it.) 

But how???

Perhaps the answer lies in community.  What is more giving, stimulating, and supportive than a writing community?

Prior to writing, Deborah Gaal was an entrepreneur, corporate executive, and Hudson Institute-trained coach focused on guiding emerging leaders to develop visioning, purpose, and organizational culture. She is currently writing her second novel.

Writer Deborah Gaal hosted a splendid Vision Board-building seminar last Sunday night for 10 of my student writers.  We examined six adult passions—Personal Mastery, Achievement, Intimacy, Play and Creativity, Search for Meaning, and the last, Compassion and Contribution. 

Our goal was to select three of these passions to focus on as positive outcomes for our energies.  Deb took these passions and their definitions from the work of Frederick Hudson and Pamela McLean in LifeLaunch: A Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life.  Mind you, it wasn’t easy to narrow the field to three categories.  But Deb had some tricks up her sleeve to help us. 

Just as I assert to writers that all stories and characters reside in your subconscious and need only be drawn out through auto-writing, meditation, or long showers—Deb’s introductory remarks reassured us we already knew The Plan for our lives-to-come.  

She guided us in a brief meditation in which we accessed our subconscious and gave confidence to our dreams.  If that sounds a little woo-woo, it is—but it’s an effective way to unlock ideas.  I often suggest that writers tell themselves three to five nights in a row before sleep that they know exactly what to write about, how to fix a character, where to go next in plot, and so on.  Deb did something very similar. 

Here’s a paraphrase of the process:  Essentially, eyes closed, imagine yourself in a beautiful, peaceful place; breathe there for a bit; wander down a path and see your spirit-guide (an ancient savvy version of you) waiting for you; ask for what you want, what you wish to know, and then gently ease yourself back to the conscious world.

After the meditation, Deb urged us to either use a special deck of cards, Planning on Purpose Card Deck, to get more ideas about our passions and goals and then categorize them into the three key passions; or go directly to magazines and cut out pictures that represent the three areas.  A last option was to draw a mandala (a Sanskrit word that means “circle”) and fill in the pie-wedges of the circle with our passions or goals.

←Source:  http://www.ptecovillage.org/mandala.html#layers

Minutes later, a whole gang of us were snipping images and words from a collection of magazines we’d brought along and pasting them onto large foam-core boards—our Vision Boards—or drawing a mandala. 

The action unfolds

It was interesting to see the work styles of some ten writers.  Four or five of us worked at the table and gabbed; others found spots on the floor throughout the downstairs of Debby’s beautiful home.

Each of us got something different:

• Fiona covered an entire 20”x30” board with words but there was an organized madness to the layout. 
• Bev kept at her board until the very very end, nearly four hours later, and ended up with concrete ideas and three distinct areas of focus (which was the goal!)
• A few of us had a cup of tea and a chat to relax our overtaxed brains. 
• Cynthia had the most amazing luck finding outstanding pictures that captured freedom and joy and a kind of splendor (example: photo of a gorgeous woman, eyes closed, head thrown back, arms reaching up to a cascade of water from a fountain, the water and the woman golden because backlit by the sun).  
• Alison drew a colorful sun-mandala and I got to read some of the sensitive, beautiful things she put on it.   

Initially I used the deck of cards and came up with a list of values, or things important to me:  being visionary, making a difference, more recognition, career satisfaction, a positive retirement, staying healthy, more freedom for me, playing/playful, simplify, sex (three letters that say so much!), sexuality, and committed to a significant other. Reviewing the list, Deb pointed out that I was heavy on Achievement (no big surprise there).

← Goal-mapping, an alternate-style vision board using images and deadlines.  See “Resources” below.

Here is how she helped me organize my list of values: “Being visionary and making a difference should fall under Compassion and Contribution,” she advised.  “Recognition, career satisfaction, and positive retirement sound like Achievement.  Health, freedom, simplify—these seem like Personal Mastery, and playing is Play and Creativity.” 

Because I can only choose three passions to develop, I move “being playful” into Personal Mastery.  Sex, sexuality, and commitment to a significant other normally fall into the Intimacy category.  But I’m limited to three categories.  So I put these into Personal Mastery too.  The categories are flexible and I’m taking advantage of that!

In addition to “values” and “passions,” I have “goals.”  Where do those fit into the visioning process?  Deb listened to me articulate some of my goals, commenting, “Re-releasing your published novels, writing and selling the writing text, and tripling your outreach to writing students are action steps for Achievement.”  

The action steps are to be written on Post-It Notes or directly on the Vision Board.  For example, near Star Maker, a phrase I pasted on my Vision Board, I need to place a Post-It that says, “Triple my outreach to writing students.”  I could also post “Write and sell my writing text” near Star Maker, because when students read the text, they’ll be on their way to becoming a writing star.  This is how goals intersect with values and passions. 

The climax

As easy and enjoyable as it was at first, I struggled with the imagery part of the process.  I simply could not find images (other than a lovely home on the beach) to represent my ambitions.  In fairness, the magazine collection was heavy on beauty and lifestyle. 

As mentioned, I did find the one stark phrase that captures my goals for the writers I mentor:  Star Maker. 

Most astonishing, however, was that my half-finished board ended up full of images of the natural world.  I admit that I relate there most strongly.  So I must need to “fill the well” in nature, right?  Vacation!!! 

But no.  Deb said we are visioning to draw other things to us that we want but haven’t yet attained. So my board is not finished.  It has huge open spaces, and only a fraction of the messages I put on the board are Achievement oriented. 

Debby gave me hope, though.  She recommends I find images on the Internet; that I look at Forbes or other biz journals; and of course, The Writer, Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers, the UK’s Writing Magazine, and the U.S.’s bible for the industry, Publisher’s Weekly, will offer words and images that make sense to me.  (An aside: check out PW’s articles on self-publishing.)

The denouement

Several of the writers praised the seminar.  “Deb opened up to us about her own vision-board and the things she had learned from the project,” says Alison.  “For me this was the most valuable part of the whole experience—I was getting some insight into the personal journey of a fellow writer and friend I really admire.  Such an inspiring moment.”

Fiona wrote this morning that the time she put into her Vision Board has already paid her back.  She had placed on her board a piece of a brochure for a screenwriting seminar that was sold out.  “But I was still dreaming of going,” she writes, “and I found out today I’m in!”

Lest readers think the Vision Board is strictly for business goals, Fiona clarifies a personal goal well-met:  “I cut out a picture of a globe/passport/jet with the words “family vacation,” “discover the world,” and “great travel” glued on top. Today I booked a trip for Easter Break, first toLondon, then by train to Glasgow, Scotland, to see my Granny and show my kids the motherland! I have been trying to do this for ages!”

I loved the sense of community among the writers—one slipping a magazine image across the table to me and saying, “Can you use this?”  Another murmuring encouragement to me and then articulating her dreams for publication.  And always, Deb’s subtle support, her calm guidance, her ability to cut through confusing lists and drop them into categories that didn’t seem obvious to the writer. 

My “scene goal,” if you will, was to put together a Vision Board that clarified my goals and priorities and gave me direction for 2012.  That’s only partially how things turned out.  Today, for instance, because of my work with Debby, I sent off four of my novels to be scanned and translated into PDF files, eventually to be launched in online bookstores.  In large part, however, my board reflects my inner-most passion:  nature.

In my home-office at the moment is a Vision Board filled with natural images—beaches, stones, sea shells, horses tossing their manes and traveling through fields of yellow deer weed.

I had to think about this outcome.  Although I strive for achievement in writing and teaching, my soul is all about the natural world, which knows nothing about money, career, goals, Achievement, or even visions.  Instead it is wild, chaotic, sublime, serene, unpredictable, subtle, endlessly replicated, endlessly unique, cruel, hungry, changing….

For me, it’s an ongoing process, this business of “visioning” my future.  Meanwhile, I remind myself that a thing nature does not have is regret.  Carpe diem.

Resources:

As I was writing this blog post, I discovered that, in fall 2011, Roger Parker posted a fascinating article A.K.A. blog, “Using an Author’s Mandala Chart to Write & Publish a Book,” which, obviously, helps authors find their way to publication.  He adapted a “flexible focus” mandala developed by Active Garage, which carries syndicated content and hosts guest bloggers.

You can get “Planning on Purpose” cards from Hudson Institute  inSanta Barbara.  The organization focuses on “Life Renewal, Coaching and Leadership Development.”  800-582-4401

See also Brian Mayne’s “Goal Mapping” site.  It’s fabulous—so organized and helpful.  http://www.liftinternational.com/Goal_Map_templates.pdf

Materials List:

√ A foam-core board from an office supply store that measures whatever size you want to display in your writing area (most of us used a 20”x30” size);

√ scissors or an Exacto knife
√ post-its
√ pencil or marking pen
√ glue stick

√ Other creative tools as you wish:  sparkle-glue, theme stickers, sheets of colored or patterned paper to place behind images—whatever makes the board come alive.

Achieving Your Vision Step-by-Step

How fun would it be to gather your writing partners or best friends, some great eats, and your materials and host your own vision seminar?

To recap what you can do at home, here are the steps:

1. Gather your materials, including a well-rounded selection of magazines if you plan to do a Vision Board rather than the Mandala.
2. Find a calm meditation/work area and put all your materials in easy reach.
3. Do a brief meditation, such as the one I mention in The Stage is Set above, to calm and focus your mind.
4. Using the cards or simply brainstorming, make a list of your passions and goals; organize  them under only three of the six adult passions listed in paragraph three of my blog.
5. Then either draw a Mandala or cut out pictures and words to make a Vision Board.
6. Think about the action steps you’ll need to take to make your passions come to pass.  Use a marker or sticky notes to list these steps and include them in your design.
7. Place your passions and steps where you see them daily.
8. While you do the action steps, watch the magic happen.

About the Author:

A former president of Orange County RWA (California) and coordinator of a past RWA national conference, Louella Nelson is the author of five romance novels (Days of Fire, Mail-Order Mate, and others), short stories, a novella, as well as award-winning trade magazine editorial features, articles, and technical reports. 

A professional writers’ mentor, Lou has conducted successful author promotions and has been a guest on radio and television talk shows; she has led writing retreats and taught writing courses at the University of California, Irvine Extension (current); Orange Coast College (current); California State University, Fullerton Extension; and Learning Tree University. Many of her students are agented, published, and award-winners.

Lou received the 2010 UC Irvine Extension Distinguished Instructor Award. She is at work on a textbook for writers and is currently re-releasing her novels and writing short stories.  Follow Lou on Twitter @LouellaNelson or visit her blog.

Kiss Your “As” Goodbye!

By Margie Lawson

A heartfelt THANK YOU to Laura Drake for inviting me to be her guest today!

The title should read: Kiss Some of Your “As”s Goodbye. But including the words, some of, diluted the power. No way I’d opt to dilute power. 

If you’ve taken my Big Three writing craft courses, you know how to analyze and add power to a sentence and a scene. If you took my craft courses before 2011, you may not know about what I call the Pesky As Construction.

But there are times when “as” makes me smile. “As” is welcome when it represents “like.”  It’s also welcome when used as a comparison. It’s as sweet as agave.

A few positive “as” examples from multi-Margie-grads.

Debbie Kaufman, The Doctor’s Mission, 2011

Hannah Jansen was as plump and well-rounded as her husband was spare. 

Julie Rowe, Icebound, 2011

The first step forward surprised her; she didn’t sink into the snow, the white stuff was as firm as concrete.

Robin Perini, In Her Sights, 2011

Face to face with her past, and she was just as ignorant now, as she had been then.

 Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead, to be released January 31, 2012

I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. The pain leached it out of me as fast as my body could produce it.

Okay. Time to switch to when “as” is pesky on the page.

There are two ways “as” is used that do not make me smile.

“As” is less desirable on the page:

1.  When it connotes simultaneity
2.   When it spotlights a stimulus/response reversal

I’ll clarify. 

Simultaneity on the Page:

Dwight Swain, Techniques of the Selling Writer, cautioned writers about simultaneity, things happening at the same time. He recommended having “A” happen, then “B.”

Having one event follow another, is a smoother read. A more direct read.

Readers read linearly. They read one thing happening then another. It’s a cognitive speedbump to adjust thinking to accommodate things happening simultaneously. 

I’m not saying to never have things happen simultaneously.

I am recommending checking your manuscript for simultaneity, and deciding if you want to keep it or change it.

I’ll share an example from Writers in the Storm’s Laura Drake.

That’s multi-Margie-grad Laura Drake.

Also, recently contracted Laura Drake!

LAURA — CONGRATULATIONS on your THREE BOOK DEAL!

Laura is currently taking one of my online classes, Fab 30: Advanced Deep Editing. Here’s an example she posted in class.

Before: 

A clock ticked in her head, matching the cadence of her feet as she pounded through the barn.

After: 

She pounded through the barn. The clock ticking in her head matched the cadence of her feet.

Laura added this comment: Like the fix better – ups the tension.

I agree. Nixing the simultaneous action, and making it two sentences, made it much stronger.

BLOG GUESTS:  Please read both versions out loud. Here they are again:

Before: 

A clock ticked in her head, matching the cadence of her feet as she pounded through the barn.

After: 

She pounded through the barn. The clock ticking in her head matched the cadence of her feet.

Hear the difference?

The AFTER has a stronger cadence. It carries more tension. It is a more compelling read.

Here’s a common “as” structure that connotes simultaneity.

As I flicked on the light, he tackled me.

What’s stronger?

I flicked on the light. (Here – show someone coming at him, knocking him down.)

Stimulus Response Reversals:

Sometime “as” spotlights a stimulus/response reversal. The response is in front of the stimulus.

When “as” spotlights that the RESPONSE is in front of the STIMULUS, most of the time I recommend flipping it, so the stimulus presents first.

A common example: She turned toward the door as she heard a knock.  

The knock happens first.

There may be a compelling reason for leaving a sentence with the response presenting first. If so, no worries.

Do you need to nix every AS?

No!

When “as” is used as a comparison or as “like,” it works well. It’s a sweet “as.”  

I recommend doing a FIND on “as” (space bar, as, space bar) and seeing how many you have in your full manuscript. Check them.

Nixing any “as” that connotes simultaneity or spotlights a stimulus/response reversal is likely to make the read stronger.

I hope you’re willing to kiss your as goodbye!

POST A COMMENT – AND YOU MAY WIN a Lecture Packet or an online course by Margie Lawson, or Tiffany Lawson Inman, from Lawson Writer’s Academy!

Online Classes offered by Lawson Writer’s Academy in February:

1. Taking a Book from Good to Sold, by Shirley Jump

2. Kills, Chills, and Thrills: Writing the Thriller Novel, by C.J. Lyons

3. Taming WordPress: Create and Maintain Bolgs and Websites, by Tamela Buhrke

4. Platforms Aren’t Shoes.  Start Marketing BEFORE You Finish That Book, by Tamela Buhrke

5. The Triple Threat Behind Staging a Scene:  An Actor’s Take on Writing Physicality, Choreography, and Action, by Tiffany Lawson Inman

6. Empowering Characters’ Emotions, by Margie Lawson

I’ll post the winner’s name tonight, 9PM Mountain Time.

Thank you again!

Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques used by writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.

Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last seven years, she presented over sixty full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

For more information on Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, full day master classes, and the 5-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in her Colorado mountain-top home, visit:  www.MargieLawson.com.

The Business of Character Engagement

by Jenny Hansen

A while back, I was doing social media for the accounting firm I work for part-time and I came across the following tweet:

Leadershipfreak Dan Rockwell – A no string attached book giveaway on today’s post: 9 Questions that enhance engagement” http://bit.ly/rtNRQO

Hmmm…I’m a writer. I’m interested in “engagement”…particularly as it relates to my characters and potential readers. So I forwarded the blog to my personal email to share with all of you.

Here’s the full article, if you wish to read it – Dan Rockwell writes really  good posts. In this particular article, Rockwell examines the principle of open listening from the book, “Coaching for Engagement: Achieving Results through Powerful Conversations,” by Hancox, Hunter, and Boudreau.

According to Dan, “open listening is rigorous work not passive silence. Fools can be quiet but they can’t listen.” Below is the line that made me decide to write about this post:

Listen and you’ll know what to ask.

I’ll confess that I’m not half the listener I’d like to be. I come from a family of boisterous people that love to tell stories, finish each others’ sentences and talk all over each other. Two-way communication can get a little daunting in a family like mine. (I’m sure those of you that know me well find that shocking.)

Plus, I’m impatient. Far too often, I think I’ve got the gist of something my husband says only to have him stop and tilt his head (looking very aggrieved) and say, “I wasn’t finished yet.”

Oh. Whoops. Um, go ahead…Sorry!

Yeah, it’s embarrassing. Especially because I want to be a great listener all the time.

Our group of founding writers meets every Thursday night to go over chapters or plot out books. Over the time that we’ve been doing this, I’ve learned to watch my fellow writers’ faces as we go over their book. If they get that deer-in-headlights look when I start throwing out suggestions, I’ve learned to back off and start asking them questions.

My favorite brainstorming technique is an “oldie but goodie” called The List of 20 that requires you to list twenty things (no matter how crazy) that could happen in your book. Doing this as a group is particularly awesome because the ideas fly in from multiple points of craziness.

While brainstorming and plotting are fun and enormously important, I believe the real magic happens when you take a moment to STOP and listen to what your characters have to say. When I shut my pie-hole and get out of the way, my characters tell me the damnedest things!

Listen and you’ll know what to ask.

This is what all the meditation, writing practice, walks, and showers are about for creative people.

They’re about shutting off the faucet of continual life-chatter long enough to listen to your characters.

When you listen hard enough, your characters will let you climb right down into the heart of them and discover what makes them tick.

In his blog, Mr. Rockwell shared the “9 questions open listeners ask that create engagement.” He was focusing on business and leadership.

Today, I’m going to use his 9 questions to focus on character development. What would you find out if you stepped into your fictional world and asked your characters the following questions?

1. What are they focused on?
2. What does this mean to them?
3. How are they measuring success?
4. What values are they expressing?
5. What emotions do you hear in their voice?
6. What values or beliefs are behind their words?
7. How is this impacting them?
8. What strengths have they articulated that could be acknowledged?
9. What are they really asking for?

I’ve never had this particular list of questions before, and I like it. My characters really like it. When I pondered the Big 9 above, my fictional peeps started shouting out their answers. (I know all you writers know what I’m talking about! Don’t try to act like this schizo-sounding stuff doesn’t happen to you…)

Rockwell also discusses some pitfalls to open listening, which nicely enough also apply to writing:

• Jumping for quick solutions – you’ll solve the wrong problem.
  This ties back to the List of 20. ALWAYS list all twenty!
• Discomfort with other’s frustration while they find their own answers. Let others struggle.
  Writer translation: Quit saving your characters from the crap pile. They’ve got lessons to learn, you helicopter creator, you.
• Assumptions, beliefs, and judgments.
  Writer translation: Don’t start thinking this is your book. It’s only partly yours. The rest belongs to your fictional people and they don’t need you butting in with things that don’t apply to them.
• Getting caught up in the details of the story. Keep the big picture in mind.
  Writer translation: “Whoa, Sparky. Watch that backstory!”
• Discomfort with silence. Shhhh!
  Writer translation: There are pages for fast-paced riveting action and there are pages where some introspection would not be out of line. If you convey those quiet moments well, they’re far from boring.

So, what techniques do you use to get those characters to open up and tell you their secrets? Do you have questions of your own you like to ask? What are they?

Jenny

Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after her wildly teething Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing. In addition to being a founding member here at WITS, Jenny also hangs out on Twitter at jhansenwrites and at her other blog, More Cowbell.

5 Things I Wish I’d Believed Before I Sold

By Laura Drake

From the title, you probably guessed my big news – I SOLD!!!

After 13 short years at this, I’ve sold a 3 book deal to Grand Central!  My first, Total Bull, a PBR world romance, is due out early 2013. For the uninitiated, “PBR” stands for Pro Bull Riding. (Who doesn’t like a cowboy?)

The deadlines will show up in my inbox soon, but over the weekend I had some time for reflection (at my age, you’ll hurt yourself if you dance for more than a half hour at a time.)

I thought over what I’ve learned in the last thirteen years that I sure wish I’d known earlier.

• Despair doesn’t last

I’ve been stymied at a zillion points in three books, not knowing what to do next. The plot was ka-ka, and I was stuck — there was no way to get from where I was to where I needed to be.  Optimism seemed VERY far from where I was, floating at the bottom of the tank, trying to stay belly-side down.

But amazing things happened when I sat my butt in the chair (or rode my bicycle.) An idea would break, brilliant and perfect, and I’d scramble to get it down before I forgot it.  I went from loser to genius in less than a minute!

Unfortunately, delusions don’t last either.

• Positive reinforcement can become crack

I placed in a contest. Then I won a contest. I got an agent. I got to acquisitions at a publisher. My days were spent in a happy blur, waiting for the next hit of good news. When it didn’t come, my clammy hands shook and I got snippy with people. 

Then I got rejected. The crash was legendary. I realized I’d gotten addicted to the winning and lost the love of just doing the writing. 

• Buzz is one of the great powers of the Universe

You’re shopping a sale at your favorite department store.  A woman beside you picks up a blouse. It’s gorgeous: perfect color, the right size, and OMG the price!  You just passed that blouse by a minute ago, but now that she has it, you want it. Bad.

Buzz is like that. The problem is, no one knows how to harness that power. But there are a couple of things you can do to put yourself in the shadow of The Force. Which brings me to my next point.

• Put yourself “Out There“

Submitting is only a small part of what helped me sell. I got my agent indirectly through volunteering at my local chapter. If you network, give of yourself, and reach a hand back to help others, it can pay off ways you can’t even foresee. And you get the added bonus of feeling good about yourself at the same time. Win-win!

• I’m never done worrying

I just move from angsting over one problem to the next in line. Repeat.

For those of you who have already sold your first book, what do you wish you’d known in advance? For those of you still writing your way toward that goal, what do you worry about the most?

Talking Back to Your Brain

 By Harry and Susan Squires

Harry and I can’t tell you how many times we’ve heard from writers frustrated and “stuck” on their current work in progress.

Often they say something like, “Why am I such a crummy writer?” “Why is this book so hard to write?” Or sometimes you hear people express goals like, “This year I’m going to write a novel that hits the USA Today list.”  The truth is, we’ve engaged in some of those practices ourselves.

But those expressions are a disaster for writers, primarily because of how the human brain actually works. However, once you know how to engage your brain properly, it can work for you and not against you, not only in your writing life but your private life as well.

Harry took several seminars from a psychologist named Bob Maurer, who lectured to creative people around the country about how to use your brain to help your creativity, avoid writer’s block, and generally improve your life. He has a wonderful book called ONE SMALL STEP CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE, which is the basis for the ideas we’ll share.

First, a quick tour through the brain. It has three parts.

• The brain stem that sits on top of your spinal column developed about 500 million years ago. It’s the reptile brain that keeps your body functioning on a physical level–breathing, circulation, etc. 
• About 300 million years ago the mid-brain or mammal brain evolved. That’s the one that controls emotions (including fear.)
• And finally the cortex evolved about 50 thousand years ago. It’s the crinkly outer covering we know as the human brain. It controls language, creativity–all the higher functions of being human.

One thing the cortex was designed for is to answer questions. The first sorts of questions it answered were about basic survival. (“Is that a leopard in that shadow?”). It can’t help but answer any question you ask. And it has done a really good job of keeping our species alive.

That characteristic of the cortex can be an immense advantage to you or a horrible disadvantage, depending on the type of questions you ask yourself.

If you could get the cortex to answer questions that would help you further your goals, it would be great, wouldn’t it? But be careful what you wish for. Say you’re thinking about your love life (instead of your book) and you ask, “Why am I such a loser with the opposite sex?” Get ready for your cortex to provide a list of answers–possibly a long list. You might decide to go back to bed and hide under the covers for the day.

If you frame the question in a positive light, for instance, “What could I do to be more attractive to the opposite sex?”, you might come up with some productive answers. (Our brains are answering even as we write–Well, you could listen more instead of talking. There’s the extra weight–you could lose that, etc. etc.) However, since it’s a big question, there might be a LOT of answers.

And that’s a problem. When the list starts to get long, we’re back to being so depressed or fearful that we can’t address the issue. We’re unlikely to take any action at all. The question is so big it freezes us up with fear.

That little journey in improving your love life we just took is an excellent example of another brain fact. The cortex thinks it’s in charge because it has all those higher functions. But you know what? The Mid-brain that runs our emotions is the real boss. If we are frightened or depressed it’s very hard to focus on anything else.

When you ask yourself why you are such a horrible writer, and the list starts coming back from your cortex, you may be invoking one of the writer’s biggest fears–that we won’t finish the book, won’t sell, won’t be taken seriously–we won’t reach our secret goal. And when we’re afraid, we just shut down. When negative emotions take over, it’s NOT conducive to creativity.

So the trick is to get the brain to answer your questions without invoking fear or depression. How do you do that?

Think small.

It’s the big, huge things we can’t control that frighten or depress us. The Japanese have a concept called Kaizen. It’s all about improvement through small, incremental changes. Americans tend to like big, transformational changes (think, “I’ll lose 50 pounds in three months by only eating wheatgrass and ice cream.”)

The way of Kaizen asks, “What small, insignificant change could I make to improve?” That concept has proved invaluable in business for the Japanese. One small change built on another until they had created significantly better cars.That thinking was how they got quality into their cars when Americans couldn’t back in the eighties and nineties. (We’ve since imported their technique to great effect.) So, the key to getting productive answers from your brain is to take many very small steps to your goal.

Let’s focus now on the specific work you’re doing as a writer. You can get real help on your work in progress by asking yourself small questions about how to make it a better book.

We’re talking REALLY small at first, so you don’t invoke that fear or depression. Some examples from recent classes we’ve given where students learned to ask productive questions are:

*  What one small thing can I do to make my heroine more likable in this scene?
*  What does my hero want to happen in this scene?
*  Why would my hero act this way?
*  How can I put more tension in this scene?
*  How can I weave the exposition into dialogue in this scene?

Notice we’re not asking questions like: How can I make this a better book? Too big, too vague, and way too scary.

We’re not asking negative questions such as, “Why isn’t my heroine likable? A really long list of answers will just be depressing.

Keep it small (one scene, even one paragraph, one character, one action, etc.). Then let your brain work.

Sometimes, especially at first, when the brain isn’t used to answering small questions calmly and promptly, it can take a few days to come back with an answer. A great example of delayed response is when you rack your brain about where you left your keys.

You’re frantic, you’re scared, you just can’t think about anything except how you don’t have the money to replace that expensive automated car key or that if anyone found the keys they could get into your house and murder you, so should you really just have all the locks changed, but who can afford that? And by the way, why do you ALWAYS lose things, and hasn’t this been a problem all your life which makes you just incompetent?

You’re totally shut down. And then two days later, you just realize out of nowhere that they must be down behind the garbage can where you sorted the mail and threw away the circulars that afternoon three days ago. You had to get beyond fear and depression in order to quiet the mid-brain and let the cortex do its job.

If the cortex doesn’t come back with an answer at all, then think about reframing your question, and maybe making it even smaller.

A really good strategy is to ask yourself the questions you’ve carefully formulated right before you go to sleep at night. The cortex will work on them overnight, and then you get the morning “a-ha” moment. For Susan, it’s in the shower. Einstein used to say he got all his best ideas while shaving.

This technique is great for advancing your story, improving your writing, and getting yourself out of writer’s block. You can use it to create discipline about your writing life as well.

Try asking yourself how you can take a very small step toward becoming a productive writer. Think really small. Can you think about your WIP for fifteen minutes and write down your thoughts? Set a timer to keep it small. Can you write a paragraph about what your main character wants? Don’t make promises like “every day without fail.” That pretty much guarantees failure. Just gradually build up and let your brain do its work.  You’ll find that one small success will lead to another and another.

This method is also useful in everyday life:

• “What one small thing could I do to improve my relationship with my husband?”
• “What one small thing could I do this week to eat healthier?”
• “How can I put 20 minutes of exercise into my day today?”

We can just hear the answers coming back. When you get a viable answer, stop asking. You might get several choices but one will seem right. If you’re so frantic about it that you keep asking and get 50 answers, you make choosing among the answers a task too big, too fearful, and you end up doing nothing anyway. When the answer that feels right occurs, smile, be grateful, and move on to the next small question.

An interesting side fact about the brain is that mammals can’t be fearful while they’re eating. Now doesn’t THAT explain a lot about why we just show up at the refrigerator during stressful times?

We’d like to reiterate that what you are doing is retraining the way your brain functions and the way you ask it questions.

This takes practice. So sometimes the miracle doesn’t happen for you all at once. Keep at it. The brain will learn to work in more positive ways, and as you learn to catch yourself using negative or fear-inducing questions, you’ll get better at it.

We still both get stuck and have to realize we’ve started asking questions that paralyze our creative cortex. Then it’s back to the beginning–consciously thinking about small questions our brain can answer.Let us know if this starts working for you. We really believe in this technique.

Do you have other tried and true ways to help you solve problems and deal with fear?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harry Squires was born in Chicago, Illinois. He attended Journalism school at the University of Missouri and UCLA’s school of screenwriting. He’s worked in news writing, film production, educational television, and as a corporate trainer in the insurance industry.

His paranormal mystery What Rough Beast was a critically acclaimed first book. Currently he is working on a non-fiction project and an historical mystery.

Susan Squires is known for pushing the envelope in her writing. The only thing her fourteen novels have in common—whether about vampires, wicces, computers, or time travel—is that they are all paranormal.

She has been on the New York Times Bestseller list, won the Golden Heart, the Holt Medallion, three Prisms, two Reviewer’s International Organization Awards, A Reviewer’s Choice award from RT, and has been a Rita finalist. Publisher’s Weekly called her book Body Electric one of the most influential paperbacks of 2002 and One with the Shadows a Best Book of 2007. Her time travel novel Time for Eternity earned a starred review in Publisher’s Weekly in 2010.

Harry and Susan live by the beach in Southern California with too many dogs.