Smart Writers Expand Time – From Margie Lawson!

By Margie Lawson

A BIG THANK YOU to Mega-Talented Laura Drake for inviting me to be her guest blogger today!

Writers are all powerful. Well, in their fictional worlds they are all powerful.

Two of the 74,386 story dynamics that writers control are expanding time and compressing time. Today we’ll focus on the most fun of the two, and the one writer’s sometimes neglect, expanding time.

When would you want to expand story time?

When scene events justify zooming in on the POV character’s experience, minute by minute, or second by second.

Maybe even picosecond by picosecond.

You’ve got to love that word. A picosecond is one trillionth of a second.

In real life, people can send and receive up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute.

Yes. That’s a true statement.

We can process up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute. Such a shocking number, and cool too.

When what’s happening in your scene is critical or crucial, decisive or dangerous, life-changing or life-threatening, you want to expand time, big time. Don’t hold back. I recommend writing it bigger than you normally would, then rein it back in until it’s just right.

I’ll share two examples of expanding time, and a few examples just for fun. All examples in this blog are from Margie Grads.

My first example is from Joan Swan’s debut paranormal romantic suspense, FEVER, released in March.

Joan has taken all my writing craft classes online, and she finished her second four-day intensive Immersion Master Class with me in Colorado on Monday.

The Set Up: Alyssa, a radiologist, just completed a scan on a prisoner named Creek.

Joan Swan, FEVER, Excerpt from Chapter 1

The hair on her neck barely had time to lift before heat washed her back.  Creek’s hard body closed around her.  What the hell?  A cool chain cut across her throat.  No.  She sucked air.  No. Her fingers clawed at the metal.  No!

“Don’t make a sound.”  He spoke soft and slow, his chin on her shoulder as he bent over her and pressed his cheek against hers from behind.

Her brain finally came back online.  Air wisped into her lungs and fed the new baseline of fear.  When Creek straightened, he rose ten inches above her.  And she now registered not only his size, but the sheer strength in all that corded muscle she’d been admiring.  His movements controlled, purposeful, almost zen-like in confidence.

“You idiot…”  She barely breathed the words, the metal and pressure restricting her vocal chords.  “Let go—“

The chain jerked once, cutting into her trachea.  “Shut.  Up.”

Pain cut off all thoughts but sheer survival.  Air.  Breath.  Air.

She wedged her skull against his collarbone to allow a fraction of relief on her airway.  Oxygen wisped through the stricture.  In. Out. In. Out. Her gray matter slugged back to work, edged with hot, sharp panic that threatened to invade every crevice and drive her insane.

The officers’ boots were still visible beneath the curtain where they stood in the hall, but she couldn’t draw enough air to speak let alone scream.  And the links of metal weren’t cool anymore.  They burned, as if Creek’s body heat streamed through the metal.

I SKIPPED A FEW PARAGRAPHS:

  • THE GUARDS CHATTER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CURTAIN
  • CREEK GOT SCISSORS OFF HER DESK

Jesus.  “Put…those down.” A spurt of terror gushed up her chest. Her fingers searched for a millimeter of leverage between the chain and her skin.  “You’re…burning…me.”

Creek’s head tilted down, his whisker-roughened chin scraping her cheek. “Fuck.”

The pressure eased and Alyssa ran her cool fingers over raw skin, choking in blessed air.  Her relief was short-lived as the rasp of metal on metal sounded in her ear.  A hard blade pressed against her neck.  Her eyes squeezed shut.

“Not another sound,” Creek whispered, “or I’ll cut your throat.”

“All right.”  The older guard sounded relaxed and jovial as he swooshed the curtain aside.  “Are we all done in—?”

The room went completely still.  The extended, shocked moment expanded, taking on weight and mass and volume like one of the cancers Alyssa fought so hard to find and fight in her patients.

Kudos to Joan Swan!

What techniques did she use to make expanded time work?

1.    Visceral Responseshair on neck lifted,  spurt of terror gushed up her chest

2.    SpecificityOne of dozens of examples: She wedged her skull against his collarbone to allow a fraction of relief on her airway.

3.    Body Languagethroughout

4.    Dialogue Cues

  • He spoke soft and slow
  • The older guard sounded relaxed and jovial

5.    Power Internalizationsthroughout

6.    Power Words –  cut, fear, strength, muscle, confidence, restricted (airway), pain, survival, air, breath, oxygen, hot, sharp, panic, invade, insane, skull, airway, screamed, burned, terror, pressure, raw, choking, blade, cut your throat, shocked, cancers

7.    BackloadingPower words at the end of sentences.

8.    Cadence, cadence, cadence!

Rhetorical Devices: 

1.    Asyndeton – His movements controlled, purposeful, almost zen-like in confidence.

2.    Polysyndeton –  . . . taking on weight and mass and volume . . .

3.    Simile –  . . . like one of the cancers . . .

4.    Onomatopoeiawhooshed, wisped, rasped

5.    Alliteration – throughout

Wow! Look how Joan powered up her expanded time passage.

FYI:  The Kindle version of FEVER is on sale for $3.99 through May.

Our second example of expanding time is from Writer’s in the Storm’s Laura Drake. Laura is a multi-multi-multi-Margie-Grad, and an Immersion Grad too.

FYI:  In case you don’t know Laura Drake’s publishing news, in January, she landed a 3-book deal with Grand Central for her series set in the world of professional bull riding. And last week, she picked up another contract for a Superromance!  Congratulations Laura!

Laura wrote this zoomed in version of expanding time after Immersion class. It’s from a Woman’s Fiction tentatively titled, A Day Made of Glass.

The Set Up:   Harlie saves a Pomeranian from being pummeled by a bull.

Yipping in triumph, the dog shot like a flaxen arrow to the center of the arena and faced Patrice with a panting grin.

The bull stood in front of the gates, snorted, threw his head up and with white rimmed, rolling eyes, regarded the irritant. Harlie watched, frozen. The bull strutted, looking around, deciding.  It might have walked to the open exit gate if the Pomeranian hadn’t challenged it with a cascade of furious yapping.

The bull wheeled to the center of the arena, dropped its head, and with a heavy snort, charged. The dog held his ground, barking at the charging one-ton animal like a drunk with little-man syndrome.

Why isn’t anyone doing anything? Besides Patrice, who shrieked from the bleachers.  Harlie’s hands jerked from the pole fence. The dog was a pain in the ass, but it was about to be pummelled to a bloody rag under the bull’s hooves.

She didn’t think. Ducking between the poles, she judged the bull’s trajectory and ran on a diagonal that would allow her to scoop up the dog without getting stomped.

Maybe.

She barely heard the shouts of the onlookers. Instead, she focused on the speed of the bull, gaining, gaining.

No way she’d make it to the fence.

The sweet rush of adrenaline hit her like a heroin-mainlining junkie. Just as strong, just as welcome. It sang through her veins, lifting her, making her impervious — superhuman. She sped up, heart thundering in her ears — or maybe that was bull’s hooves.

Everything seemed to slow. Details stood out in perfect focus: the shine of spit on the dog’s bared teeth, the whorl of hair at the center of the bull’s forehead, a small scar next to its white-filled eye.

In full stride, Harlie reached the center of the arena, snatched the now cowering fur ball by the nape, and kept moving. The ground shook with pounding hooves. She tensed her muscles for impact, but felt only a sliding rub of horn on her butt and the rush of air at her back as the bull passed. Clutching the suicidal mutt in a death grip, Harlie sprinted for the fence.

She’d only taken a couple of steps when the panicked yells of the onlookers penetrated the swelling chorus of the adrenaline song in her head. Harlie didn’t have to look. She knew bulls. The animal had wheeled, and from the vibrations in the soles of her fancy cowgirl boots, was bearing down to gore her.

No time. She heaved the dog toward the open-mouthed, red-faced men on the opposite side of the fence.  Harlie’s brain registered a stop-action photo of the little dog, hair blown back, flying through the air, mouth open. She hadn’t known that dogs had an expression for terrified, but this one sure did. It hit the ground running and streaked for the line of boots at the fence.

Harlie spun on her heel. The bull was farther away than she’d guessed, but closing fast. She shot a glance to the fence. It seemed as if she were seeing it through the wrong end of a telescope. A bull will beat a human in a race, every time. She’d never make it.

No choice.

Tension zinged through her. The timing had to be just right. Failure would come in the form of lunging horns and bone-snapping hooves. Head down, the bull came on.

Decision made, the fear in Harlie’s chest lay down before a rising exaltation of knowing. Crouched in a marathon runner’s stance, she shook the jitters out of her hands and gauged the bull’s closing speed.

One more step –

Harlie exploded, launching herself straight at the bull.

She took two long-jumper strides.

The bull charged in, lowering its head to hook her.

On the third stride, perfectly timed, her foot came down in the center of the bull’s broad forehead. He threw his head up and she was launched, flying over the beast’s back

It seemed she rose forever, her stomach dropping, shooting the sparkly fireworks of a roller coaster’s first hill. A quiet, high-pitched sound escaped her lips. It might have been a giggle.

When the arc finally began its downward tail, Harlie looked for a place to land.

Wow. Pacing. Pizzazz. Passion. Power.

That’s the kind of writing that earns contracts.

Kudos to Laura Drake.

Blog Guests: What did Laura Drake do to make her expanded time piece work?

Hint: Review my deep editing points for Joan Swan’s passage – and fill in content from Laura’s excerpt.

I’m sharing a few more examples. SHORT examples.  I want to spotlight examples from unpublished, not-yet-contracted Margie Grads too.

Diane Wied, Immersion Grad – Haunted Memory

“Where would you like for me to start? The part where we ran off the road?   The part where the psycho chased us?  Or the part where I lost a six year old child?”

Diane used anaphora to pick up pace, deepen character, and give the scene a cadence boost.

Alex Ratcliff, Immersion Grad – Undercover

Cooper’s mind skidded to a mental stop. The Sheriff. What was he doing here? Cooper heard the harsh rap of knuckles on the glass over Ella’s head. There was a five second pause that seemed as long as the Jurassic period.

Alex gave the reader a cliché twist, and an uber-fresh pause.

Kimberle Swaak, Immersion Grad – Shadows of Doubt, 

Two fresh dialogue cues, amplified.

1. “Well, laa-tee-daa.” She stretches out her words, loads them up with an extra serving of Tennessee twang. “Don’t that sound fancy.”

2. Her tone takes a serious turn, matching mine, and her voice and vowels soften into the more generic timbre she perfected in college. Less country hick, more Southern belle. Unlike me, Lexi can turn her accent on and off like a faucet.

Note:  Perfect cadence throughout.  

Bronwen Jones, Home to the Lake

NOTE:  The POV character is in her mid-eighties, still lives alone. Lyn, her niece, the old woman’s only relative, shows her a pamphlet.

It’s a pamphlet, and she smooths it out on the table, leans on the back of the chair again. There’s a picture of a smiling silver-haired couple, a woman dressed in a beige jersey frock and pearls, and a man in a knitted cable jumper the colour of the sky on a clear winter’s day. I’m greatly taken with the contentedness that shines in their handsome faces.

I look to Lyn for a hint and am thrown by what I see there. Something akin, I’m sure, to what Jesus saw in Judas. Something dark moves within me and my own expression changes—I feel my face moving—to that of an old bitch who knows she’s to be put down.

Bronwen’s short expanded time excerpt is loaded with power, including description, eponym (what Jesus saw in Judas), a POV character’s changing expression, and a power internalization. And the whole piece is cadence-driven.

BLOG GUESTS:  POST A COMMENT AND YOU MAY WIN a Lecture Packet  or one of my online courses from Lawson Writer’s Academy!

I’ll post the name of the LUCKY WINNER tonight, 9PM Mountain Time.

Online Classes offered by Lawson Writer’s Academy in June:

1. Fang It to Me: Writing Vampires, Fantasy, and the How-to’s of World-Building ~ Instructor: Mario Acevedo

2. Write YOUR Way with Liquid Story Binder ~Instructor: Lisa Norman

3. Fab 30 in 40 Days: Advanced Deep Editing, A Master Class
Instructor: Margie Lawson

4. Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors, Power Punch 1 ~ Instructor: Margie Lawson

Margie Lawson—psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques used by writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.

Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last seven years, she presented over sixty full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

For more information on Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, full day master classes, and the 4-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in her Colorado mountain-top home, visit:  www.MargieLawson.com.

About these ads
This entry was posted in Blogging Guests, Craft, Margie Lawson and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to Smart Writers Expand Time – From Margie Lawson!

  1. Sharon Clare says:

    Wow, beautiful writing that makes me want to go buy all those books right now. I love the details that Laura chose: the shine of spit on the dog’s bared teeth, the whorl of hair at the center of the bull’s forehead, a small scar next to its white-filled eye.
    Love this paragraph too, the way she expands on the adrenaline rush: The sweet rush of adrenaline hit her like a heroin-mainlining junkie. Just as strong, just as welcome. It sang through her veins, lifting her, making her impervious — superhuman. She sped up, heart thundering in her ears — or maybe that was bull’s hooves.

    Real life is like this. When my daughter was two, she slipped her water wings off and got into a pool without any of us adults noticing. I saw her under the water, drowning. More than twenty years later, I can still remember the vivid details of my dash to save her, every step, working out the fastest way to get to her in my thoughts. Those seconds took forever. Happy to say, she was fine, hadn’t even swallowed any water. Her guardian angel was looking out for her that day and I swear I was poked to look for her at that moment.

    • LauraDrake says:

      Oh Sharon, you gave me shivers! SO glad your mother’s intuition was switched on that day! Thanks so much for your compliments! I owe it all to Margie.

    • Sharon –

      Scary, scary, scary. So glad you got poked and saved your daughter’s life.

      Trauma expands time and imprints every nuance of that live-or-die event in our memories. Forever.

      Every step you took to save your daughter’s life will be just as vivid in fifty years. It’s not like it happened yesterday. It’s like it happened a picosecond ago.

      I dig deeper into expanding time during traumatic events in my next blog.

      I hope you get to give your daughter a love-you-forever hug today.

  2. To Joan: I’ll repeat what I said in my email to you after reading devouring Fever. WOW! Just, WOW! Your ability to keep that pace and cadence and tension at fever-pitch (and climbing) through your book ruined my goals for the day. ["Fever-pitch" wasn't planned, btw. Convenient coincidence, or proof your book is appropriately titled?] I am so ready for the release of Blaze. Bring it on. Please.

    To Laura: Now I fully understand why you landed that three book deal. I’d need a novella to note the rhetorical devices you used so effectively. Fresh metaphors: …”like a drunk with little-man syndrome.”; “…shooting the sparkly fireworks of a roller-coaster’s first hill.”; “…adrenaline hit her like a heroine main-lining junkie…”.

    As for time expansion: the stop-scene-snapshot of the dog and the bull had such specificity (spit on the dog’s bared teeth, whorl of hair, scar near the bull’s white-filled eyes). I was there. I saw it. Your second .”..stop-action photo of the little dog…dogs had an expression for terrified.” You told us to stop. Pay attention. See the dog. After that, it’s a smooth segue back to the charging bull. When is this book coming out again? Soon? Please?

    To Margie: Why is it every time I read a blog with excerpts from your grads, I get psyched to charge into my writing day and create fresh, fresh, FRESH prose? Oh. Right. It’s because I see you bouncing toe-to-heel, arms in motion, motivating, teaching, smiling, laughing. It’s because you are the best thing that happened to my writing. Even Gracie loves you. ;-)

    • LauraDrake says:

      Oh Gloria, thanks! I cannot wait to get back to this book – but other deadlines await – a happy diversion!
      You’re no slouch either – love your description of Margie – I see her doing that!

    • Gloria —

      Loved your Immersion Grad analysis! Smart, smart, smart!

      Yes — We can all see why Joan is published. We can all see why Laura is contracted. And we can all see why Diane and Alex and Kimberle and Bronwen will be published too.

      So will dozens of other Margie Grads, and you could be one of those hard-working writers who gets a contract.

      Finish writing and deep editing your WIP — SOON! You could get THE CALL this year!

    • Gloria, you’re too sweet! I sure missed you last weekend! Margie brought out Rhett and I busted up laughing. Good times, my sweet! Good times. You, Sherry, Jessica and I have to find a time to do an advanced immersion together!

  3. Sharon says:

    Wow, Margie. You just showed me something I hadn’t thought about as I sit here writing and wondering why my writing just doesn’t sound as good as what I read in the books and by authors I love. Thanks.

    • LauraDrake says:

      Sharon – do your writing a huge favor. Sign up for an online class. It made all the difference in my writing. Took me from “I like it, but . . .” rejections to a sale!

    • Sharon –

      Ah – You read those excerpts, and you felt the power.

      I’m a psychologist, and I teach writers how to think and edit like a psychologist. Margie grads learn how to make their writing carry psychological power.

      That psychological power gets reader’s viscerally engaged. Each page becomes a page-turner.

      Thanks for chiming in!

  4. Suzanne says:

    WHat amazing writers! What amazing writing. Off to Amazon now to buy, read, learn, enjoy, devour. If only we could expand real life time so that we had 36 hours in the day. Thank you for sharing such wonderful examples of such amazing talent!!

  5. Lara Chapman says:

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE your examples of expanding time and it makes me want to dive into my own writing and find a place to do just that!

    Joan – “Oxygen wisped through the stricture. In. Out. In. Out.” I found myself actually breathing on your command! Such great writing!

    Laura – “like a drunk with little-man syndrome” made me laugh out loud! Talk about a great description!! I can see that man!

    Diane – My heart clenched at the power ending… losing a 6 year old!? Terrifying!! You perfectly capture her desperation.

    Alex – “There was a five second pause that seemed as long as the Jurassic period.” is a wonderful line. I know those five minutes… I swear, I live them every day! And it beautifully puts us in his head. I also loved the mental skid to a stop!

    Kimberle – “Lexi can turn her accent on and off like a faucet.” You know how much I love your writing and this is a great example why! You do such a great job with characterization and I instantly know this girl.

    Bronwen – You have two phrases that I ADORE! “what Jesus saw in Judas” and “to that of an old bitch who knows she’s to be put down.” Your readers will LOVE this. We know exactly what she’s feeling and seeing and thinking!

    AWESOME SELECTIONS, Margie! As always!!!

    Printing this one for reference this weekend!

    Lara Chapman
    http://www.larachapman.com
    FLAWLESS (Bloomsbury, 2011)
    2012 International Reading Association’s Young Adult Choice
    2012 RITA Finalist

    • Thanks, Lara, and I can hardly wait to get up on the mountain with you and Alex and Diane in July, for more of Margie’s brilliance!! And Margie, thanks for including my writing in your blog post ~ a true honor!

      Kimberle

      • Kimberle –

        Your writing is soooo strong! Strong enough to win contests and get contracts.

        You’re already winning contests. Next — you’ll land a CONTRACT!

        Keep deep editing to add psychological power and keep making your writing stellar!

        Can’t wait to see what we accomplish in ADVANCED IMMERSION in July!

    • bronjonesnz says:

      Lara, thank you so much. It is an honour to appear in a Margie example! This is my first “taste” of publication of fiction as I’m writing my first novel. Thank you Margie and Laura

      • Bron –
        It’s my honor to spotlight your stellar writing.
        So glad I got to work with you in FAB 30 last month and dig deep into HOME TO THE LAKE. I’m looking forward to working with you in the next Fab 30 in June!

    • BIG KUDOS to RITA Nominee, and Multi-Margie-Grad, LARA CHAPMAN!

      Hello Lara!

      I featured examples from your RITA nominated YA, FLAWLESS, in my last blog. Wish I could have squeezed examples from you, and Darynda Jones, and Elizabeth Essex, and dozens of other stellar Margie Grads in this blog too.

      Thanks for taking the time to dig in and enjoy these examples. They are BRILLIANT!

      Can’t wait to work with you and Alex and Diane and Kimberle in ADVANCED IMMERSION MASTER CLASS in July! We’ll dig deeper into your WIPs, and have even more fun!

    • Thanks Lara! Extra sweet coming from a RITA finalist!! Congrats! I will be cheering for you at Nationals this year!! xo

  6. Super examples, Margie. As always, you make me think of new opportunities I’ve missed in my manuscript. Now let me go see what I can do in that last scene where the heroine picks up the gun and …….

    • Hello RITA NOMINEE, and Immersion Grad, ELIZABETH ESSEX!

      I’m so proud of you and Lara and Darynda. You could each earn a RITA!

      You have several amazing EXPANDING TIME passages in THE DANGER OF DESIRE.
      I used one of them when I featured you on my Pubbed Margie Grad Blog.

      I can’t wait to read your next book, the one you deep edited in Immersion class. Stellar, stellar, stellar!

  7. robbinluckett says:

    Margie took my writing to a whole new level! We’re talking I know how to fix scenes, sentences, pace, because I have the Margie tools! And one day I could be the next NYT best seller! All because I signed-up for Margie’s classes. Joan Swan’s FEVER – the girl ROCKS!

    • Robbin –
      Your enthusiasm is rivaled by your talent!
      You have the drive and talent and deep editing tools. You could become an NYT Bestseller!

  8. Janet B says:

    These fantastic examples of stellar writing are a window into the realms of successful and profitable publishing. They make the moments vibrate with electricity.

  9. Margie, I feel like I’m having my subway nightmare where I am on a train going to work and look down to discover I’m in my undies !! I love the excerpts … yes hot hot hot FEVOR … and darn … that little man syndrome … what a great description, Laura. All of them … each of them … left me feeling undressed … like I had better get back home and put on some clothes (as in get my book dressed for the real show down) …

    At a disadvantage since I have not taken any of your classes, I still feel like I am in the presence of a great teacher. I have an enduring love of a gifted teacher and I can see that you are one of them.

    I also have an enduring love of the word and the amazing ways they can be strung together for our enjoyment, excitement, honest to good fun reading. Each of you examples are prime examples of what readers seek in good books. Thanks so much for another great post :)

  10. bronjonesnz says:

    I just loved both Joan’s and Laura’s excerpts. I was totally hooked and in Laura’s action scene especially, I could see it all happening right in my head. Ha! That bad little dog, setting all that off.

    The examples by Diane, Kimberle and Alex were also really, really good. Well chosen, Margie.

    Thank you to both Margie and Laura for a little bit of “air time” – this is the first time an excerpt from my work has been “published”.

    Awesome lesson, Margie. Thank you for your fabulous deep editing in Fab 30 as well. Your classes have taught me so much! And I’m still learning every day!

    • Hey Bron —

      I love all the excerpts too. All so different, and all so powerful.

      Ah — I enjoy working with you in Fab 30 too!

      Hope I get to meet you face-to-face someday. In America, or New Zealand.
      I could present advanced deep editing for RWNZ — and teach an Immersion Master Class in New Zealand too. :-)

  11. Sharla Rae says:

    What a fantastic blog Margie. It’s a class by itself! I’m believer.

    • Hello Sharla Rae!

      Yay! You’re a believer!

      I hope I get to see you in class sometime — and in person too!
      I’ll be at National. I’m counting on seeing you in July. :-)

  12. S. J. Maylee says:

    Margie’s posts rock. The fresh prose are the cream and sugar in my coffee. I’m going back for another read, right now, oh! And you just know this post is going to be linked in my blog love post tomorrow :)

  13. Wow! I remember Creek from Immersion. He’s even scarier now! Bought the book but haven’t read it yet. Now I have to find out what happened. All the examples were great.

    Barb

  14. Margie, so sweet of you to use examples from FEVER. I often don’t even see it in my own work until you pull it out and explain it.

    …or…you’re comparing work from 5 years ago to today…*cringe*…that was crazy over the weekend! Shows how far I’ve come with your fabulous help!!

    I’ve dubbed your talent: Margie’s Magic!!

    Miss you already! (I picked up my Yonanas yesterday and got one for my mom for mother’s day!)

    xoxo

  15. Linda Cacaci says:

    Wow, great post! I am digesting all of the material. Wonderful stuff! I am printing all of this out to refer to.
    Linda Cacaci
    LinCaca3@aol.com

  16. HELLO EVERYONE!

    Someone who read this blog emailed me and asked:

    What courses do you teach?
    Do you go into more depth and cover other topics in your courses?

    YES! My online courses are each loaded with my editing tips, techniques, and teaching points, and loads of examples. When I teach, I TELL and SHOW. ;-)

    I recommend taking my first three courses in this order:
    1) Empowering Characters’ Emotions — 380 pages
    2) Deep Editing: The EDITS System, Rhetorical Devices, and More — 405 pages
    3) Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist — 230 pages

    Lecture Packets are available for my BIG THREE courses (above). I only teach them once a year. If you don’t want to wait until they’re offered again, you can order the Lecture Packets from my website.

    If anyone has questions, please email me: margie @ margielawson . com

    THANK YOU!

  17. FROM: Ann Stewart
    Ann wrote: “I tried to comment on the blog but it didn’t like me.
    Congrats to my two Fab30 EPs for making the blog post!! Alex and Kim rock.”

  18. Terri P says:

    Great examples of pumped up writing!
    You always bring something to the crafting table with these examples Margie. ;)

    Terri

  19. HELLO EVERYONE!

    Random.org rescued me. Random picked the winner!

    And Random selected the last name.

    The person who wins Lecture Packet or online class from me is Terri P!

    CONGRATULATIONS Terri P!

    Please email me! margie @ margielawson.com

    THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE TODAY!

    A BIG TOP-OF-THE-MOUNTAIN THANK YOU TO LAURA DRAKE FOR INVITING ME TO BE HER GUEST TODAY!

    BLOG GUESTS: IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY COURSES, PLEASE CONTACT ME. THANK YOU!

  20. Shauna says:

    Hi Margie, excellent post and some amazing extracts (go Bron!). I was fortunate to attend a workshop that you taught here in New Zealand a few years ago – a brilliant experience, I learned heaps, and I have your Lecture Packets which are an excellent resource. Glad you’re keeping busy!!

  21. Pingback: Links of the week #18 « S. J. Maylee

  22. Margie – I emailed you off-loop, but it just occurred to me that I hadn’t thanked you here for using my excerpt! Yikes – I swear my mother taught me better (okay, Mom, you can stop yelling in my head – oh, and Happy Mother’s Day, miss you.)

    As a certified member of ‘Margie’s Army,’ I can vouch for her amazing teaching ability – her classes are much like this (for any Margie Virgins out there.) Oh, and grads – don’t forget to use the new Twitter hashtag – #MargieGrads

    Margie is the single largest rocket launcher to my obtaining an agent and getting a sale (besides my amazing crit group and fellow WITS bloggers.) Thanks for blogging with us Margie – see you in July!

  23. Pingback: Blog Treasures 5~12 | Gene Lempp ~ Writer

  24. marsharwest says:

    Loved the examples. Such powerful writing from everyone. You set a high bar for what I need to accomplish. Think I’ll post samples around my computer to remind me when I think I’ve done a nice job: Nice won’t get the job done. Power writing will. Thanks, Margie, and thanks WITS for sharing her.

  25. Yvette Carol says:

    Hi Margie! Wow food for thought to be sure. You’ve given me something to think about here, with expanding time. You’re right, I don’t do it nearly enough. You know, I think I may even be a bit scared of it. Why? Because it takes a deft touch and real skill. Ably demonstrated by your students, who I must say are doing you proud!!
    I’ve just completed the course Madness to Method with your lovely daughter. And I definitely felt drawn to look at some of your courses, as a lot of the other students had taken courses with you and highly recommended them.
    Tiffany too, encouraged us to slow things down and show reactions of every kind. I felt deeply challenged by the exercises!! However, after excruciating writing sessions I think I may be making improvement….
    Thanks for the great post :-)
    Yvette Carol

  26. stlaurec says:

    Margie, stellar examples.

    I bought Joan’s book a few weeks back, after Sherry Isaac posted a review. And Laura’s examples, just wow. The bull scene works, works, works. It was like a movie in my head, including the slow motion moments.

    Great examples.

Comments are closed.